Sabrina Murray

When I am at swim practice I usually have to change how I act in order to match the people around me. I am more upbeat and open around my teammates versus when I am in the classroom, I barely talk and keep to myself. This difference in how I act around different groups of people relates to the want to be normal/ the same. Everyone wants to fit in and be a part of something in order to feel special and wanted. When someone goes to a new place, they automatically seek out a new friend group and may change their style and interests in order to fit in. People learn to adapt to their surroundings because of the need to be normal and accepted into the community.

The reading by Erving Goffman about “Presentation of everyday self,” seems relevant to the idea of fitting into a group/ setting. Goffman talks about putting on a façade to try and mask your true feelings by putting on a different face to the public. This is similar when someone is out with a new group of friends or in everyday life. Someone who is trying to assimilate into a new group would want to be polite, make jokes, be friendly but not reveal too much about oneself. I think it is interesting that when we meet someone for the first time we are not being our true self because we are trying to be accepted as someone else first. When I was receiving advice from friends before coming to college, many people told me to not act like my usual self when I meet new people. They were afraid that I would not be accepted if I met people as my energetic and bold self. This affected how I presented myself every time I met someone because I knew if I wanted to make friends in this new environment I would need to make sure I pretended to be calmer than I normally am. I know that people can be their true self when they are with people they are most comfortable with but I want to know why we cannot always be ourselves in any situation without the fear of being judged.

That point is another factor in society that makes It hard to want to share your true self; judgement. It seems that society has made it so people have to be a certain way in order to be accepted. Social media has also turned into a place where we have to mask who we really are or else no one would want to follow us or like our posts. People want to show their followers how cool they are or else no one would care about their lives. Why does society get to dictate practically every aspect of our lives? Why can we not be ourselves and not be judged? Do we like being told what to do and judging other people?